Stigma

In this hustle culture, we as a society have made the idea of 'having stress' as something admirable. Having a lot of things in our hands, having a busy schedule. Since when did it become the new 'cool', the new 'successful'?  Many people may deny this but if you give long, serious thought to this, you'll realize that it is true. People talk about wanting a peaceful life but how is it possible until they stop making stress and being busy their USP. Until they stop showing off and bragging about it.  The cases of depression, anxiety, and other thought disorders saw a huge peak during the lockdown period. Why? Because they finally got a tranquil environment to live in?  Or because maybe we are too focused on our persona, on how we want other people to perceive us, and not on how we are as a person.  Now, who do we prove ourselves to?  I'm not saying that you should just sit idle in your room watching Grey's anatomy but just a plea - Can we please stop ...

You know we are taught to be the one in everything we do. Always the best in everything. And because we cant live up to these “expectations”, we get depressed and disappointed with ourselves. Even with our lives sometimes.  Let me clear the stats here. See, every one of us is extraordinary and expert in one or two things in life. Apart from these things, we are pretty average at almost everything. Now, Its human tendency to see either the best or the absolute worst in all things. Therefore, as most of the times, we see the absolute best.  For example, I’m pretty sure we all know Steve Jobs and look up to him for bringing a revolution in the field of information technology and blessing us all with his company’s products. The first word that would come up to your mind when I say his name would be “revolutionary”, “genius”, “hardworking” and even “iPhone”. As I said, the human tendency of seeing the area a person has expertise in. But how many of you thought of ...

I think one of the most important things I have learned till now is to forgive myself. I have learnt to not hold a grudge against myself. Always remember, even if all the people in this world are against you, you stay by side of yourself. No matter how difficult things get, remember you have Him who loves you more than anything else in this world. I sometimes think people see me as a boring girl, who isn't really outspoken and is awkward but you know what, I don't really care about it now. Yes, I don't run around and have fun. Yes, my idea of fun is sitting down with people who are the closest to me and talk about memories, Kpop, and deep things instead of talking about boys and relationships. Yes, I get awkward talking to guys. But at the end of the day, this is me. I can put on a mask that's the same as everyone else but I have to take it off eventually when the night falls. If God wanted me to be like them, He would've already made me like them. I believe t...

Sometimes the world and the society convinces me that I’m wrong for the way I think, for the way I believe in things, for the way I love. There are days when these comments fill up my head making me feel disappointed with myself. I start pointing out flaws in myself and eventually get depressed and anxious about my entire existence. I begin overthinking. I begin doing things that I wouldn’t normally do to please others. I begin hating myself. I begin feeling as though I’m living a ‘wrong’ life. These opinions of the people and the society start messing with my thoughts and my faith. However, I try to remind myself that- this is MY life. I am not supposed to follow others’ path or others’ way of living. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have determined goals. It doesn’t matter if I fail to make everyone like me. It isn’t necessary for me to fulfill others’ desires. It doesn’t matter if my definition of a happy life is different than others. It doesn’t matter if I am better or worse than ...

Some may say I live a crazy life because I don’t live the way others do. I don’t dream the way others do. Happiness has a different meaning to me. My idea of success does not match with others. I believe in enjoying life and living the way I want to rather than planning every next step. Future haunts me. I don’t try to control my future. I don’t have any plans for my future. I don’t study hard. I am always nagged by my family.  Growing up, I thought how great it would be to become a teenager. Well, I’ll just say it isn’t what I expected. When I thought about my teen years, I always imagined a happy, young and free me. Not a manipulated-by-the-societal-expectations me. It is so hypocritical of people. They first tell us to live life the way we want to and do what you love and then, they frown upon our decisions. They say “be you” and then, judge us. I thought future was something to be excited about, despite of not being aware of what is ahead. I thought the main goal in life ...

Sit back and ask yourself, why are you doing what you are doing? Is it for yourself or is it for others. see, I believe its good to make others happy but you should not do that at the cost of making yourself suffer. You don’t have to put on a mask just to make those around you happy. Its not your job to make everyone happy. however, its your duty to take care of your soul. Do what you feel like you need to. If you’re feeling down, you don’t have to force yourself into going out. spend time with yourself, maybe watch a movie. Don’t worry about how they will feel if you cancel the plan. If they really care about you, they will understand. I am the type of person that would sacrifice my well being just because it makes people happy. I have always done that because I thought I was helping others. But you know what, that just degraded me because I started feeling attached to them and having those expectations of them.  I used to pretend to be happy when really I was depressed. ...

There is something about the world we live in that constantly piles up expectations and fantasies of how things should be. You go on social media and see all those people who are loved so utterly and you sit there thinking I am not loved the same way. See, all your relationships are different in their own way because the person you hold that bond with is unique. Maybe he or she does not buy you all those teddy bears, Candys, expensive gifts and a Gucci bag but that does not illustrate that person’s feeling about you.  See the thing is, different people express their love differently. And that does not make them any less worthy of your affection. Love the person they are, not the one you expect them to be. Understand that there are people out there who appreciate genuine good memories over materialistic things. On the flip side, there are people who just give out gifts and spend money on you to show you their feelings. There are even people who go out of their way to give you lo...

I feel myself changing. You ever felt that. Its like I am two complete different people and I don’t know which one is the real me. One of it wants to get work done, study,  go out, work towards my goals, be productive. But the other one makes me feel worthless and disappointed in myself every time I try to do something. Its true anxiety and depression make the worst combination. I have no control of whats going on. I know some people might have it worse than me but that does not make my pain any less valid. It feels like an endless circle of weakness, sadness, disappointment and worthlessness. I cant tell if its killing me or making me stronger. I always try to control things but it ends up controlling me. I should stop just let go of things that I cant control and give it all to Him. And so should y’all. I’m the person who talks people into self-love. I truthfully assure everyone how wonderful they are, because I don’t want people to feel the way I do right now. I unintentiona...

I t hurts to see so many beautiful girls struggling with their body image. It's not your fault. It is completely alright if you don’t look like others. You don’t need to be super skinny. You don’t have to comply with their idea of being attractive. You’re too beautiful in your own way to ever let anyone tell you that your body is not perfect. You don’t need to wear those black leggings to make your legs look skinny. You don’t have to have that perfect bikini body. Don’t ever let anyone body-shame you. If you let them insult you once, they will do it again. Stand up for yourself.  The same God that made the mountains, the oceans, the flora, and fauna, also created you. You were created in His mind. How can you ever think you are not beautiful? You don’t have to be fit in. You are too unique for that. Don’t let people’s opinions validate you. You’re fierce and you don’t need people to keep reminding you of what a magnificent masterpiece you are. I was also insecure about my hei...

Life is unpredictable. No one, absolutely no one can tell you how long you are going to live. Maybe 5 years. Maybe 5 months. Maybe 5 days. Maybe 5 hours or even 5 minutes. So you see, there is no expiry date given with life. Its a matter of surprise for all of us. But I will give you a spoiler, we will all die at some point. So, no matter how long you live, remember to live, not just survive.  Our generation is so focused on the future that we forget about the time that is passing now. I know its cliché but think about it. Its good to plan ahead of time but we are so engrossed in the future that we forget the things we have now. The people we have now. You might have a long life but some of the people around you won’t. Your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, uncles, etc wont be here for as long as you will be. Its hurtful but its true. They have limited time. Even few people you expect to be here forever won’t be there cerebrating your success later in your life. So, be th...

Growing up, we are expected to look a certain way, behave a certain way and even live a certain way. These expectations from the society are one of the root causes of mental illness. We are told to take the same path in our lives. Study, get good grades, top in our classes, get into a renowned university, get the degree, get a job, get married, have kids, and then die.  Its not wrong to take this path or go with the flow but its wrong to live your life just because it fulfils people’s expectations.  Your life is your story so there is no wrong or right way. Our society instils this in our minds that you having unrecognisable jobs is wrong, you not maintaining that 4.0 GPA is wrong, you living a different way is wrong.  When in fact, these things are the things the society wants you to do. You try to find happiness from fulfilling these expectations but the only way to find happiness is doing what you are really passionate about even though it does not fit the mould ...

Loving yourself makes you so much more powerful in this world. However, to love yourself, you first need to know what you are worth. Don’t think you’re inferior just because you don’t have the things that some people do.They don’t validate you, He does. Don’t give away this power to someone who does not value you.  Stop saying yes when you really want to say no. It does not make you rude. Disappointing others is better than making yourself suffer. Respect your time and talent.Stop holding onto people that discourage you, make you feel worthless and inferior no matter how close they are. You don’t need to ignite a fight or confront them with an argument, just let them go. I know it might be difficult to leave them at once because lets face it, we are all scared of losing people. But you know what, you are better off with them. And when you leave their company, you’ll find your own.  It will be difficult at first like in my experience, I recently changed my school, I was ...

Why do we keep holding onto people who hurt us over and over again? They love and care about us and so do we but still they keep tearing our hearts apart by the little things they do everyday. I understand they might be important but why do we keep giving them the power to break us apart? The problem is we grow so attached to some people that we start depending on them. We feel like our world revolves around them . We go to extents just to keep them close. And its not wrong to have such close relationships. Note that by relationships, I mean not just the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship but your relationship with your friends or family, etc. However, relationships should not be so intense that you start losing yourself in order to pursue them. That is toxic. You need to let go of the rose if its branch makes your fingers bleed. Just because its beautiful does not mean you have to tolerate the pain of getting stabbed by its thorns. There are plenty of alternatives to this rose. Rem...

I have come to realise that one of the reasons people tend to stop loving themselves is because they are too engrossed in outdoing others. Be better than others. Impress others. To fit in with their group of friends or family. And its not your fault. We all are afraid of losing people so instead of confronting them about their behaviours or actions, we suppress our true identity to please them and hold the relationship for a long time. See, I believe change is a great thing that we need to do in life but it is correct if you change for yourself, to improve yourself and for your own betterment, not just to please others.  We don’t have to fit in. Our differences are the things that make us unique. You don’t have to fit in with the others because you are you. You are not perfect but you are so much more than your imperfections or your flaws. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.  Growing up, I had curly, voluminous hair and every girl in my class had the perfect straight h...