You don't have to fit in

I have come to realise that one of the reasons people tend to stop loving themselves is because they are too engrossed in outdoing others. Be better than others. Impress others. To fit in with their group of friends or family. And its not your fault. We all are afraid of losing people so instead of confronting them about their behaviours or actions, we suppress our true identity to please them and hold the relationship for a long time. See, I believe change is a great thing that we need to do in life but it is correct if you change for yourself, to improve yourself and for your own betterment, not just to please others. 

We don’t have to fit in. Our differences are the things that make us unique. You don’t have to fit in with the others because you are you. You are not perfect but you are so much more than your imperfections or your flaws. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. 

Growing up, I had curly, voluminous hair and every girl in my class had the perfect straight hair. Everyday, they would come to school with the perfect high ponytail whereas I just had a super curly ponytail. I started feeling insecure about my hair. I stopped tying my hair in a ponytail and would just put it in a bun. I tried so hard to fit in. Today, I have realised my curly hair is not my weakness instead its something that stands me apart from them and honestly, I don’t even want to look like every other girl does because these differences are my greatest strengths. I have not completely gotten rid of my insecurity yet but at least I am a lot confident and open about it. There are people who comment on my curly hair till date and it does affect me to be honest but I remind myself of all the things I’m good at, how I make people feel and that I don’t need a validation from them who are just going to be around for maybe a couple of moths or years. They are temporary but if you let their comments affect you, you’ll lose on something much more important than them. 

See, the thing is if you lose people but find yourself, you win. And its not just about winning, its about living your life in your own way and not putting so much effort into pleasing others. Understand that people’s opinions about you do NOT define you. You define yourself. If you start loving the way you look or behave, people will follow. I assure you. Just remember, God made you this way because He thought you looked beautiful this way. He must have had a good reason for making you this way. So you decide, do you want to believe the One who created you in his thoughts and who is the only constant in life or those temporary people who judge you for your external beauty?