my 2019, His way

Sometimes the world and the society convinces me that I’m wrong for the way I think, for the way I believe in things, for the way I love. There are days when these comments fill up my head making me feel disappointed with myself. I start pointing out flaws in myself and eventually get depressed and anxious about my entire existence. I begin overthinking. I begin doing things that I wouldn’t normally do to please others. I begin hating myself. I begin feeling as though I’m living a ‘wrong’ life. These opinions of the people and the society start messing with my thoughts and my faith. However, I try to remind myself that- this is MY life. I am not supposed to follow others’ path or others’ way of living. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have determined goals. It doesn’t matter if I fail to make everyone like me. It isn’t necessary for me to fulfill others’ desires. It doesn’t matter if my definition of a happy life is different than others. It doesn’t matter if I am better or worse than my peers. 
2018 was one hell of a ride for me. I struggled with anxiety and depression at a very deep level. But as I gave it a long thought about why it happened was because I was too engrossed in pleasing people, in doing what they thought was ‘right’ for me and my future. I didn’t know when and how to walk away from things that no longer bring me peace. I tried to figure out my life instead of trusting Him who has already done it for me. 

This 2019, I am letting go of all the expectations, all the societal ideologies and all other things that mentally stress me out. I am giving all my problems to Him. I will try to be like Him everyday. I will try to love like Him everyday. I will try to make Him feel proud of me everyday by being good to others as well as myself. I would always remind myself of this Proverb 3:5 “She will trust in the Lord with all her heart and lean not on her own understanding.” And finally I will do things that make me genuinely happy and see myself the way He does because that is a way which would bring Him close to me. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Words unsaid

Image
Sit back and ask yourself, why are you doing what you are doing? Is it for yourself or is it for others. see, I believe its good to make others happy but you should not do that at the cost of making yourself suffer. You don’t have to put on a mask just to make those around you happy. Its not your job to make everyone happy. however, its your duty to take care of your soul. Do what you feel like you need to. If you’re feeling down, you don’t have to force yourself into going out. spend time with yourself, maybe watch a movie. Don’t worry about how they will feel if you cancel the plan. If they really care about you, they will understand. I am the type of person that would sacrifice my well being just because it makes people happy. I have always done that because I thought I was helping others. But you know what, that just degraded me because I started feeling attached to them and having those expectations of them.  I used to pretend to be happy when really I was depressed. I ha
Read more

The art of being average

Image
You know we are taught to be the one in everything we do. Always the best in everything. And because we cant live up to these “expectations”, we get depressed and disappointed with ourselves. Even with our lives sometimes.  Let me clear the stats here. See, every one of us is extraordinary and expert in one or two things in life. Apart from these things, we are pretty average at almost everything. Now, Its human tendency to see either the best or the absolute worst in all things. Therefore, as most of the times, we see the absolute best.  For example, I’m pretty sure we all know Steve Jobs and look up to him for bringing a revolution in the field of information technology and blessing us all with his company’s products. The first word that would come up to your mind when I say his name would be “revolutionary”, “genius”, “hardworking” and even “iPhone”. As I said, the human tendency of seeing the area a person has expertise in. But how many of you thought of “messed u
Read more