my 2019, His way

Sometimes the world and the society convinces me that I’m wrong for the way I think, for the way I believe in things, for the way I love. There are days when these comments fill up my head making me feel disappointed with myself. I start pointing out flaws in myself and eventually get depressed and anxious about my entire existence. I begin overthinking. I begin doing things that I wouldn’t normally do to please others. I begin hating myself. I begin feeling as though I’m living a ‘wrong’ life. These opinions of the people and the society start messing with my thoughts and my faith. However, I try to remind myself that- this is MY life. I am not supposed to follow others’ path or others’ way of living. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have determined goals. It doesn’t matter if I fail to make everyone like me. It isn’t necessary for me to fulfill others’ desires. It doesn’t matter if my definition of a happy life is different than others. It doesn’t matter if I am better or worse than my peers. 
2018 was one hell of a ride for me. I struggled with anxiety and depression at a very deep level. But as I gave it a long thought about why it happened was because I was too engrossed in pleasing people, in doing what they thought was ‘right’ for me and my future. I didn’t know when and how to walk away from things that no longer bring me peace. I tried to figure out my life instead of trusting Him who has already done it for me. 

This 2019, I am letting go of all the expectations, all the societal ideologies and all other things that mentally stress me out. I am giving all my problems to Him. I will try to be like Him everyday. I will try to love like Him everyday. I will try to make Him feel proud of me everyday by being good to others as well as myself. I would always remind myself of this Proverb 3:5 “She will trust in the Lord with all her heart and lean not on her own understanding.” And finally I will do things that make me genuinely happy and see myself the way He does because that is a way which would bring Him close to me. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You can do anything, not everything.

Life is unpredictable. No one, absolutely no one can tell you how long you are going to live. Maybe 5 years. Maybe 5 months. Maybe 5 days. Maybe 5 hours or even 5 minutes. So you see, there is no expiry date given with life. Its a matter of surprise for all of us. But I will give you a spoiler, we will all die at some point. So, no matter how long you live, remember to live, not just survive.  Our generation is so focused on the future that we forget about the time that is passing now. I know its cliché but think about it. Its good to plan ahead of time but we are so engrossed in the future that we forget the things we have now. The people we have now. You might have a long life but some of the people around you won’t. Your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, uncles, etc wont be here for as long as you will be. Its hurtful but its true. They have limited time. Even few people you expect to be here forever won’t be there cerebrating your success later in your life. So, be th...
Read more

Old souls in the new generation

Growing up, we are expected to look a certain way, behave a certain way and even live a certain way. These expectations from the society are one of the root causes of mental illness. We are told to take the same path in our lives. Study, get good grades, top in our classes, get into a renowned university, get the degree, get a job, get married, have kids, and then die.  Its not wrong to take this path or go with the flow but its wrong to live your life just because it fulfils people’s expectations.  Your life is your story so there is no wrong or right way. Our society instils this in our minds that you having unrecognisable jobs is wrong, you not maintaining that 4.0 GPA is wrong, you living a different way is wrong.  When in fact, these things are the things the society wants you to do. You try to find happiness from fulfilling these expectations but the only way to find happiness is doing what you are really passionate about even though it does not fit the mould ...
Read more

The art of being average

Image
You know we are taught to be the one in everything we do. Always the best in everything. And because we cant live up to these “expectations”, we get depressed and disappointed with ourselves. Even with our lives sometimes.  Let me clear the stats here. See, every one of us is extraordinary and expert in one or two things in life. Apart from these things, we are pretty average at almost everything. Now, Its human tendency to see either the best or the absolute worst in all things. Therefore, as most of the times, we see the absolute best.  For example, I’m pretty sure we all know Steve Jobs and look up to him for bringing a revolution in the field of information technology and blessing us all with his company’s products. The first word that would come up to your mind when I say his name would be “revolutionary”, “genius”, “hardworking” and even “iPhone”. As I said, the human tendency of seeing the area a person has expertise in. But how many of you thought of ...
Read more