Words unsaid

Sit back and ask yourself, why are you doing what you are doing? Is it for yourself or is it for others. see, I believe its good to make others happy but you should not do that at the cost of making yourself suffer. You don’t have to put on a mask just to make those around you happy. Its not your job to make everyone happy. however, its your duty to take care of your soul. Do what you feel like you need to. If you’re feeling down, you don’t have to force yourself into going out. spend time with yourself, maybe watch a movie. Don’t worry about how they will feel if you cancel the plan. If they really care about you, they will understand.

I am the type of person that would sacrifice my well being just because it makes people happy. I have always done that because I thought I was helping others. But you know what, that just degraded me because I started feeling attached to them and having those expectations of them. 

I used to pretend to be happy when really I was depressed. I had so much anxiety on the first day of my new school but I pretended to be strong so that my parents wont think I am weak. I forced myself into going out to parties and family functions when I hit rock bottom emotionally because I was so concerned about whether they would start distancing themselves from me or they would think I am boring. I even started to act like those overly- outgoing girls which I am not. I mean I am an extrovert but only if I feel really comfortable with you. Anyways, I did that so that people wont think of me as boring and awkward. But, I was just fooling myself. I realized its okay if their perception of me is not perfect. Its okay if they don’t like me. At least I am being honest with myself. so,I stopped that. And I found people who love the real me. They appreciate my flaws. They love my shy and awkward side. I don’t have to put on a show to impress them everyday. I am the most comfortable with them. I can be stupid with them and they don’t judge me. The best thing is, I don’t feel insecure about my flaws with them. So you see if you finally be yourself and stop caring how others see you, trust me you are going to encounter things and people who will help you and love you with all your imperfections. You wont have to put on the mask. Start putting yourself first. Its your life and I repeat, your life’s purpose in not to make others happy while you are suffering.