Stigma

You know we are taught to be the one in everything we do. Always the best in everything. And because we cant live up to these “expectations”, we get depressed and disappointed with ourselves. Even with our lives sometimes.  Let me clear the stats here. See, every one of us is extraordinary and expert in one or two things in life. Apart from these things, we are pretty average at almost everything. Now, Its human tendency to see either the best or the absolute worst in all things. Therefore, as most of the times, we see the absolute best.  For example, I’m pretty sure we all know Steve Jobs and look up to him for bringing a revolution in the field of information technology and blessing us all with his company’s products. The first word that would come up to your mind when I say his name would be “revolutionary”, “genius”, “hardworking” and even “iPhone”. As I said, the human tendency of seeing the area a person has expertise in. But how many of you thought of ...

I think one of the most important things I have learned till now is to forgive myself. I have learnt to not hold a grudge against myself. Always remember, even if all the people in this world are against you, you stay by side of yourself. No matter how difficult things get, remember you have Him who loves you more than anything else in this world. I sometimes think people see me as a boring girl, who isn't really outspoken and is awkward but you know what, I don't really care about it now. Yes, I don't run around and have fun. Yes, my idea of fun is sitting down with people who are the closest to me and talk about memories, Kpop, and deep things instead of talking about boys and relationships. Yes, I get awkward talking to guys. But at the end of the day, this is me. I can put on a mask that's the same as everyone else but I have to take it off eventually when the night falls. If God wanted me to be like them, He would've already made me like them. I believe t...

Sometimes the world and the society convinces me that I’m wrong for the way I think, for the way I believe in things, for the way I love. There are days when these comments fill up my head making me feel disappointed with myself. I start pointing out flaws in myself and eventually get depressed and anxious about my entire existence. I begin overthinking. I begin doing things that I wouldn’t normally do to please others. I begin hating myself. I begin feeling as though I’m living a ‘wrong’ life. These opinions of the people and the society start messing with my thoughts and my faith. However, I try to remind myself that- this is MY life. I am not supposed to follow others’ path or others’ way of living. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have determined goals. It doesn’t matter if I fail to make everyone like me. It isn’t necessary for me to fulfill others’ desires. It doesn’t matter if my definition of a happy life is different than others. It doesn’t matter if I am better or worse than ...

Some may say I live a crazy life because I don’t live the way others do. I don’t dream the way others do. Happiness has a different meaning to me. My idea of success does not match with others. I believe in enjoying life and living the way I want to rather than planning every next step. Future haunts me. I don’t try to control my future. I don’t have any plans for my future. I don’t study hard. I am always nagged by my family.  Growing up, I thought how great it would be to become a teenager. Well, I’ll just say it isn’t what I expected. When I thought about my teen years, I always imagined a happy, young and free me. Not a manipulated-by-the-societal-expectations me. It is so hypocritical of people. They first tell us to live life the way we want to and do what you love and then, they frown upon our decisions. They say “be you” and then, judge us. I thought future was something to be excited about, despite of not being aware of what is ahead. I thought the main goal in life ...

Sit back and ask yourself, why are you doing what you are doing? Is it for yourself or is it for others. see, I believe its good to make others happy but you should not do that at the cost of making yourself suffer. You don’t have to put on a mask just to make those around you happy. Its not your job to make everyone happy. however, its your duty to take care of your soul. Do what you feel like you need to. If you’re feeling down, you don’t have to force yourself into going out. spend time with yourself, maybe watch a movie. Don’t worry about how they will feel if you cancel the plan. If they really care about you, they will understand. I am the type of person that would sacrifice my well being just because it makes people happy. I have always done that because I thought I was helping others. But you know what, that just degraded me because I started feeling attached to them and having those expectations of them.  I used to pretend to be happy when really I was depressed. ...

I feel myself changing. You ever felt that. Its like I am two complete different people and I don’t know which one is the real me. One of it wants to get work done, study,  go out, work towards my goals, be productive. But the other one makes me feel worthless and disappointed in myself every time I try to do something. Its true anxiety and depression make the worst combination. I have no control of whats going on. I know some people might have it worse than me but that does not make my pain any less valid. It feels like an endless circle of weakness, sadness, disappointment and worthlessness. I cant tell if its killing me or making me stronger. I always try to control things but it ends up controlling me. I should stop just let go of things that I cant control and give it all to Him. And so should y’all. I’m the person who talks people into self-love. I truthfully assure everyone how wonderful they are, because I don’t want people to feel the way I do right now. I unintentiona...

Life is unpredictable. No one, absolutely no one can tell you how long you are going to live. Maybe 5 years. Maybe 5 months. Maybe 5 days. Maybe 5 hours or even 5 minutes. So you see, there is no expiry date given with life. Its a matter of surprise for all of us. But I will give you a spoiler, we will all die at some point. So, no matter how long you live, remember to live, not just survive.  Our generation is so focused on the future that we forget about the time that is passing now. I know its cliché but think about it. Its good to plan ahead of time but we are so engrossed in the future that we forget the things we have now. The people we have now. You might have a long life but some of the people around you won’t. Your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, uncles, etc wont be here for as long as you will be. Its hurtful but its true. They have limited time. Even few people you expect to be here forever won’t be there cerebrating your success later in your life. So, be th...