Posts

Surrender

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Some may say I live a crazy life because I don’t live the way others do. I don’t dream the way others do. Happiness has a different meaning to me. My idea of success does not match with others. I believe in enjoying life and living the way I want to rather than planning every next step. Future haunts me. I don’t try to control my future. I don’t have any plans for my future. I don’t study hard. I am always nagged by my family.  Growing up, I thought how great it would be to become a teenager. Well, I’ll just say it isn’t what I expected. When I thought about my teen years, I always imagined a happy, young and free me. Not a manipulated-by-the-societal-expectations me. It is so hypocritical of people. They first tell us to live life the way we want to and do what you love and then, they frown upon our decisions. They say “be you” and then, judge us. I thought future was something to be excited about, despite of not being aware of what is ahead. I thought the main goal in life ...

Words unsaid

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Sit back and ask yourself, why are you doing what you are doing? Is it for yourself or is it for others. see, I believe its good to make others happy but you should not do that at the cost of making yourself suffer. You don’t have to put on a mask just to make those around you happy. Its not your job to make everyone happy. however, its your duty to take care of your soul. Do what you feel like you need to. If you’re feeling down, you don’t have to force yourself into going out. spend time with yourself, maybe watch a movie. Don’t worry about how they will feel if you cancel the plan. If they really care about you, they will understand. I am the type of person that would sacrifice my well being just because it makes people happy. I have always done that because I thought I was helping others. But you know what, that just degraded me because I started feeling attached to them and having those expectations of them.  I used to pretend to be happy when really I was depressed. ...

The unique art of expressing love

There is something about the world we live in that constantly piles up expectations and fantasies of how things should be. You go on social media and see all those people who are loved so utterly and you sit there thinking I am not loved the same way. See, all your relationships are different in their own way because the person you hold that bond with is unique. Maybe he or she does not buy you all those teddy bears, Candys, expensive gifts and a Gucci bag but that does not illustrate that person’s feeling about you.  See the thing is, different people express their love differently. And that does not make them any less worthy of your affection. Love the person they are, not the one you expect them to be. Understand that there are people out there who appreciate genuine good memories over materialistic things. On the flip side, there are people who just give out gifts and spend money on you to show you their feelings. There are even people who go out of their way to give you lo...

No season can last forever

I feel myself changing. You ever felt that. Its like I am two complete different people and I don’t know which one is the real me. One of it wants to get work done, study,  go out, work towards my goals, be productive. But the other one makes me feel worthless and disappointed in myself every time I try to do something. Its true anxiety and depression make the worst combination. I have no control of whats going on. I know some people might have it worse than me but that does not make my pain any less valid. It feels like an endless circle of weakness, sadness, disappointment and worthlessness. I cant tell if its killing me or making me stronger. I always try to control things but it ends up controlling me. I should stop just let go of things that I cant control and give it all to Him. And so should y’all. I’m the person who talks people into self-love. I truthfully assure everyone how wonderful they are, because I don’t want people to feel the way I do right now. I unintentiona...

To all the girls who stand out,

I t hurts to see so many beautiful girls struggling with their body image. It's not your fault. It is completely alright if you don’t look like others. You don’t need to be super skinny. You don’t have to comply with their idea of being attractive. You’re too beautiful in your own way to ever let anyone tell you that your body is not perfect. You don’t need to wear those black leggings to make your legs look skinny. You don’t have to have that perfect bikini body. Don’t ever let anyone body-shame you. If you let them insult you once, they will do it again. Stand up for yourself.  The same God that made the mountains, the oceans, the flora, and fauna, also created you. You were created in His mind. How can you ever think you are not beautiful? You don’t have to be fit in. You are too unique for that. Don’t let people’s opinions validate you. You’re fierce and you don’t need people to keep reminding you of what a magnificent masterpiece you are. I was also insecure about my hei...

You can do anything, not everything.

Life is unpredictable. No one, absolutely no one can tell you how long you are going to live. Maybe 5 years. Maybe 5 months. Maybe 5 days. Maybe 5 hours or even 5 minutes. So you see, there is no expiry date given with life. Its a matter of surprise for all of us. But I will give you a spoiler, we will all die at some point. So, no matter how long you live, remember to live, not just survive.  Our generation is so focused on the future that we forget about the time that is passing now. I know its cliché but think about it. Its good to plan ahead of time but we are so engrossed in the future that we forget the things we have now. The people we have now. You might have a long life but some of the people around you won’t. Your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, uncles, etc wont be here for as long as you will be. Its hurtful but its true. They have limited time. Even few people you expect to be here forever won’t be there cerebrating your success later in your life. So, be th...

Old souls in the new generation

Growing up, we are expected to look a certain way, behave a certain way and even live a certain way. These expectations from the society are one of the root causes of mental illness. We are told to take the same path in our lives. Study, get good grades, top in our classes, get into a renowned university, get the degree, get a job, get married, have kids, and then die.  Its not wrong to take this path or go with the flow but its wrong to live your life just because it fulfils people’s expectations.  Your life is your story so there is no wrong or right way. Our society instils this in our minds that you having unrecognisable jobs is wrong, you not maintaining that 4.0 GPA is wrong, you living a different way is wrong.  When in fact, these things are the things the society wants you to do. You try to find happiness from fulfilling these expectations but the only way to find happiness is doing what you are really passionate about even though it does not fit the mould ...