Stigma

Some may say I live a crazy life because I don’t live the way others do. I don’t dream the way others do. Happiness has a different meaning to me. My idea of success does not match with others. I believe in enjoying life and living the way I want to rather than planning every next step. Future haunts me. I don’t try to control my future. I don’t have any plans for my future. I don’t study hard. I am always nagged by my family.  Growing up, I thought how great it would be to become a teenager. Well, I’ll just say it isn’t what I expected. When I thought about my teen years, I always imagined a happy, young and free me. Not a manipulated-by-the-societal-expectations me. It is so hypocritical of people. They first tell us to live life the way we want to and do what you love and then, they frown upon our decisions. They say “be you” and then, judge us. I thought future was something to be excited about, despite of not being aware of what is ahead. I thought the main goal in life ...

I feel myself changing. You ever felt that. Its like I am two complete different people and I don’t know which one is the real me. One of it wants to get work done, study,  go out, work towards my goals, be productive. But the other one makes me feel worthless and disappointed in myself every time I try to do something. Its true anxiety and depression make the worst combination. I have no control of whats going on. I know some people might have it worse than me but that does not make my pain any less valid. It feels like an endless circle of weakness, sadness, disappointment and worthlessness. I cant tell if its killing me or making me stronger. I always try to control things but it ends up controlling me. I should stop just let go of things that I cant control and give it all to Him. And so should y’all. I’m the person who talks people into self-love. I truthfully assure everyone how wonderful they are, because I don’t want people to feel the way I do right now. I unintentiona...

Life is unpredictable. No one, absolutely no one can tell you how long you are going to live. Maybe 5 years. Maybe 5 months. Maybe 5 days. Maybe 5 hours or even 5 minutes. So you see, there is no expiry date given with life. Its a matter of surprise for all of us. But I will give you a spoiler, we will all die at some point. So, no matter how long you live, remember to live, not just survive.  Our generation is so focused on the future that we forget about the time that is passing now. I know its cliché but think about it. Its good to plan ahead of time but we are so engrossed in the future that we forget the things we have now. The people we have now. You might have a long life but some of the people around you won’t. Your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, uncles, etc wont be here for as long as you will be. Its hurtful but its true. They have limited time. Even few people you expect to be here forever won’t be there cerebrating your success later in your life. So, be th...

Its discouraging when you see your friends, cousins and even your siblings having big goals and working hard to achieve them whereas you are just moving along life. One thing you should know- It is completely okay to not have goals and dreams. You'll get them when the time is right. I believe everyone has a purpose. Remember you are here for a reason. The same God who made this earth and all the beautiful creatures in it, had the thought of creating you so He must have had a valid reason for it. He didn't create you just because He was bored, now did he? of course not. You need to understand that. You might not know what your purpose is in life right now and that is totally fine. Some people get their goals at a young age while some at an older age. I am 16 right now. At this age, Jeon Jungkook debuted as a member of BTS (a South Korean boyband which now has global domination). He found his purpose at a really young age and started working towards it and eventually...